At GITMO Bill Gates Denied Retrial

Bill Gates, whom the U.S. Navy Judge Advocate General’s Corps has convicted and sentenced to capitol punishment, had been stirring a ruckus at GITMO’s Camp Delta Detention block, where he is being held while awaiting his sentence to be carried out. Sources at the nation’s most infamous internment camp told that Gates has spent every waking moment decrying his persecution and demanding a retrial on the grounds that his attorney, the ineffable David Baluarte, had inadequately represented Gates.

A military tribunal convicted Gates on September 8 following 5 days of explosive testimony. If anything, Baluarte fought more rigorously than had lawyers who represented other convicted Deep State figureheads, but Bill Gates said Baluarte was a disappointment.

A day after his conviction, Gates was granted an audience with the Guantanamo Bay military review board, an independent group of U.S. Navy and Marine officers tasked with deciding whether an accused person received proper representation or was mistreated during a tribunal.

Gates argued that Baluarte was incompetent, that he didn’t challenge key pieces of evidence or witnesses who stood to profit from his conviction. Specifically, Gates said his ex-wife, Melinda Ann French, was an unreliable witness because she had been coerced into testifying against him under threat of being named an accomplice or being deprived of a hefty divorce settlement.

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Under oath, Melinda admitted she struck an immunity from prosecution deal with JAG. In exchange for her open and honest testimony, which she swore was correct, the military would not charge her as an accomplice to Gates’ criminal deeds. But her testimony played only a marginal role; her statements were supported by other eyewitness testimony and by documents and files obtained from Gates’ computers and electronic devices.

The review board spent five days reviewing Gates’ petition and concluded he had no grounds for a retrial.

“David Baluarte was given more slack and latitude than other defendants’ lawyers to appear before the Office of Military Commissions. He defended his client to the best of his ability.  The tribunal’s decision stands,” a GITMO representative said.

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